By G Kharchenko
Our media images reinforce this negative thinking. Magazines, TV, and movies portray unreasonable physical expectations that even healthy, active, normal teenage girls have a hard time living with, The size message says if you’re large (large being a relative term, of course some girls see anything over size 6 as too large) you are guilty of breaking some sort of cultural taboo, that you shouldn’t be taking up so much space, that you must be out of control. Larger women are made to feel they have no right to look good or feel good about themselves, as if a woman’s only value is in her degree of attractiveness, Sometimes even very thin but tall girls are made to the ungainly and unattractive because they fall outside the bounds of the popular ideal of beauty, (Ironically, many fashion models, who average 5’10″ or more, feel awful about themselves because of their height, even while representing the ultimate image of glamour and beauty.) Every single young girl gets the message loud and clear: You must be thin to be acceptable.
Yes, we tell ourselves, I look horrible, I am horrible. We don’t stop to question the thought process or the reality of our bodies. Why does large have to mean horrible? Can’t you look and feel wonderful, project confidence and goodwill, and be a happy, stylish, well-dressed large person? Of course you can, and it’s easier than you think. It’s also fun to poke holes in negative thinking and negate a few myths.
For starters, we already know that not all women are small. We also know and science is finally starting to confirm that large body size doesn’t necessarily mean a person is unhealthy, unfit, or unacceptable.
Many women eat normally, exercise regularly, and are still large. That’s just their normal state of being, and it has nothing to do with out-of-control eating or any other damaging behavior. Some large size models are athletes in world class condition, but are naturally a little larger than the average woman.
Unfortunately, today we all seem to be focused on control, Control over time, money, lifestyle, behavior, everything. In the 1980s we strove to amass the right possessions. Now we grapple with control, and she who has the most (perceived) control wins. Of course, control is really an illusion. That’s what makes getting it and keeping it so very difficult.
But if you wrestle with drugs, alcohol, workaholism, abusive behavior, or some other nasty, the world doesn’t see the burden you carry. If you wrestle with body weight either inherited or created the world sees the evidence of your struggle in every ounce. In many people’s unconscious minds, you become the personification of a person out of control, a person that represents their worst fears, and sometimes people hate what they fear.
So it’s not hard to see why some plus-size women believe that it’s impossible to look good as they are, without losing weight. At best, they think they can only look acceptable, inoffensive. And it usually follows that looking acceptable means looking as thin as possible, or covering up one’s true size by camouflage.
While it may seem obvious to an outsider that a large woman is not ever going to look waif-model thin, the plus woman fights to keep that possibility alive in her own mind, and in the perceptions of the world around her, Since the media and our entire culture place such a high value on attractiveness for women at the expense of all other virtues, nearly every woman wants (whether on a conscious level or not) to be attractive.
But the media also tells her that female attractiveness is directly linked to thinness. Ergo, she is not, and cannot be, attractive or truly valuable until she is thin.
About the Author: Georgiy Kharchenko – I sell:
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